5 Lessons I Learned by Simply Taking a Dare

When was the last time you took a chance? A risk? A DARE? You remember the truth or dare game we used to play when we were younger (and maybe some of you still play). There was always something about choosing the dare that was exciting and nerve-racking. It was uncomfortable not knowing what would be waiting on the other side of that dare. Dare to FLY was birthed out of that same nervous excitement.

When I decided to start creating and facilitating my own workshops for moms like me, it was a dare. It was a dare that I gave myself. I decided that if I didn’t step up and step out for what I wanted (and needed) to do for myself, no one else was going to do it for me. So I took the dare and here are just a few lessons I’ve learned in the process…

1. If it scares you, do it faster.

At the Get RADICAL Conference last year, one of the things that Doreen asked attendees was to identify one thing in our business that we had wanted to do but hadn’t done yet. The one thing that I wrote down was hosting my own live workshops specifically for moms. Up until that point I just hadn’t done it due to so many excuses that I won’t even bore you with here.

So about a week or two after getting home from the conference, I went online and reserved a room at the library to host my workshop. I had no title or theme, no agenda, and no idea on how I would plan it all out. I had no idea what I would be teaching or who would even attend the workshop. And I gave myself only 4-5 weeks to plan everything. Setting the date was the scariest part because it meant I had to take action. And so I did. Was I scared? Of course! Did I panic? A few times. But if I hadn’t taken that first step in booking the space, I would probably still be talking about wanting to host and facilitate live workshops.

2. Things will never be perfect, but they will always get better with time.

What I learned from setting a date for a workshop that I hadn’t even yet created, was that striving for perfection will keep you stuck and stagnant. We all have great ideas, hopes, wishes, and dreams that we think about. But how often do we actually take a step back to figure out a plan, and to actually take action to get things done?

There were so many things that I wish I would’ve thought to do for my first workshop. But there are also things I wish I would’ve done at my most recent workshop (and the ones in between). The thing is, I’ve learned different lessons in each one. I’ve grown a lot through the process. I’ve improved from one event to the next and that is exciting. But I wouldn’t be able to improve or get better if I had never gotten started.

3. Your journey is not about you.

One thing people may not know about me is that I’m very much an introvert. When I tell you that just less than two years ago I wanted nothing to do with public speaking, I chuckle knowing that is a major part of what I do now. Two years ago, I made the decision to get out of my own way because I realized that I had a voice that needed to be heard. Two years ago, I realized that I had to help other moms change the way they view self-care so that they could be a better person for their family. I realized that it’s not okay and shouldn’t be an option for moms to put themselves first. It’s not an option because it’s a detriment to their survial when they don’t.

This was my journey. And knowing what I know now, I made it my mission to help other moms realize that being a great mom and being a business owner or executive can go hand-in-hand (it doesn’t have to be one or the other). When I decided to pursue my purpose, I went from overwhelm to overjoyed, and from frustrated to fulfilled. But I had to get over myself in order to take this first scary step.

4. Pursuing your goals/dreams & being a great mom can go hand in hand.

A few days ago, I tweeted the following message:

“You can be a mom and live the life you want…guilt-free! Ready to get started? Join me here ow.ly/t5YS2 #moms #selfcare”.

I got a response from a follower saying:

“Not if a true single parent…if you can’t have child care or beyond limited, that is not that easy or near it”

So let me be clear: having the life you want with all the support you want is not easy. Having the life you want and not having support is not easy. Nothing worth pursuing in life is ever easy. However, I’m a firm believer that where there’s a will, there’s a way. We make time and find ways to do the things that really matter to us. And we find excuses not to do the things that don’t (not saying this is particularly the case with this person). I know several single moms (and “acting” single moms) who are doing amazing things and achieving great goals in their lives.

One of the things I talked about in my workshop was the importance of creating your own support system and community. When I took the dare to FLY on my own terms, it was at a time where I needed to put a stake in the ground for myself. I was finally starting to feel like myself again and knew that I needed to make a radical move and take charge of my own life. It took me making sacrifices and creating the support system that I needed for myself.

5. People want and need what you have to share.

I’m not unique in what I do in any stretch of the imagination. So yes, it can be intimidating to decide you’re going to take the plunge and start your own business, especially when there are so many others who are doing the same. But what I realized, is that my message is unique to the people that God has already put in my path to receive it. Just yesterday, I received two e-mails that confirmed this fact.

One of the e-mails was from someone who had been on my mailing list for the last two years and had never connected with me before. But here is some of what she sent to me:

You’re actually also the one who inspired me to start blogging, LOL. Funny how God uses people and they don’t even know it…your blog (Back when it was “Speak on Faith”) is what led me to you, and your mention of what you referred to as “Spiritual disconnect”, when you decided to leave corporate, really resonated with me. Just seeing where you are now, how far you’ve come, how your platform has grown is so amazing and inspirational to me. Just wanted to let you know.

Wow. This was also confirmation to me that we never know who is watching us and who is being touched by the work that we are doing. So how selfish would it be of us to NOT pursue our purpose, and keep pressing through even when things get a little rough?

What dare are you going to take in your life starting today?

Doreen Rainey and I at the January 2014 Dare to FLY workshop!

These Veggie Cakes by my good friend Andrea, were everything!

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