This post is part of the Teach Me How to Love Blog Tour, which I am excited to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers. To learn more and to join us as we tell the world how to learn how to love! CLICK HERE!
1 Corinthians 13:13 says: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I just attended the funeral of a dear friend’s aunt, who was more like a second mom to her (and everyone around her). It was truly an amazing homegoing celebration. When you looked around the church, you felt the love from wall-to-wall. As family member after family member got up to speak, each of them told stories about how this incredible woman touched each of their lives — with overwhelming love.
When my friend’s dad got up to speak, he talked about the importance of teaching our children how to love — that the way in which his sister made everyone feel loved and special, it was something that was passed on to her from her own mother. It starts with us. Our children do what they observe. If they observe love, and are treated with love, in turn, love will stand the test of time. You have to teach your kids how to love. And if you don’t know what that looks like or feels like because you didn’t have it, here are three tips to get you started:
Your thoughts have more power than your words. Before you express certain things that you may later regret, think about how those words will impact those that you love. Think about how everyone you come in contact can be affected by your love. When you go about your day, or when faced with different opportunities, think about how everyone involved can come out on the winning side.
Once you’re able to think love, you can then speak love. There is so much power in speaking love into your children every chance you get. Even in the moments of frustration or overwhelm, expressing your love to your children can have such a high, positive impact in how they treate and respond to others. Just as you express yourself to your children, allow them to express themselves as well. When my kids are fussing amongst each other, my husband and I tell them to talk it out as much as possible. We want them to be able to solve problems as they arise with their words…and avoid the hurtful ones as much as possible. Of course there are times it goes overboard, but for the most part, they are able to negotiate peacefully.
When you allow yourselve to be the love for your children through your thoughts and your words, it is much easier for you to show them what love looks like. You know that saying “do as I say, not as I do?” Yeah, well whoever created it was definitely sending mixed signals. Another reminder at today’s funeral was that our children are always watching us. If we say we love them, but don’t follow that up with loving actions, how is that setting them up for successful relationships? If that is the example they have set for them to be disrespectful, to not express themselves, that is the first example they have of what a relationship is “supposed” to look like. I show my kids so much love (through my thoughts and actions) because I know what not having it did to me and my lack of self-esteem growing up.
You have to teach your kids how to love. It is something that will always be with them no matter how far they may travel away from you. It is something that will enhance their future relationships. It’s something you can’t afford not to do.
In what ways do you teach your kids how to love?
Troy Spry is –a certified life and relationship coach, speaker, REALITY EXPERT, and now author and decided to write a book about –changing your mindset about dating and love and why it’s important to stop repeating the same mistakes in dating and relationships. He knows this book has the power to change lives and relationships. You can grab your copy HERE.