Fear, fear, fear. We hear this word all the time. And if you have a pulse, chances are, you deal with some kind of fear if not daily then often enough to know what it is. And if you don’t have some kind of fear daily, I’ve learned that it means you’re probably not stretching yourself far enough outside of your comfort zone.
A couple of months ago, my amazing sister, Julian of Bold and Fearless invited me to speak at her very first Bold and Fearless Friday event which takes place every third Friday of the month. Oh no pressure…no pressure at all. I’ve realized I am most comfortable when I’m teaching a webinar or training class. But I still get nervous just speaking to a room full of people without having them actually doing something along with me (that’s the trainer in me).
Lately, I’ve been doing frequent Periscope broadcasts, as well as watching them. And one thing that constantly comes up: FEAR. So I wanted to share some of these fears and how to move past them, in the hopes that it will encourage you to do the same.
Now, if you’ve read my book, Whose Shoes Are You Wearing? you know that the last chapter, Do It Afraid, describes FEAR in two ways:
Be Bold. Be Fearless. ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card
1. Fear of the unknown/starting over
When I finally left my job in March 2011, it may have appeared on the outside that I just up and left (well, I kinda did). But in actuality, I quit long before the day that I formerly resigned. It took me months (over a year) to finally get over my fear of the unknown. But when I heard, “God will put you in a holy discontent to get you out of situations”, I knew that it was time.
My BOLD move: Leaving my job with no savings, and a third baby on the way; taking a leap of faith (not telling you to do the same, but just keeping it real).
My RESULT: We have not missed my paycheck to this day 4 years later (I can only attribute that to obedience and the grace of God).
“Sometimes making that next bold move requires listening to that still small voice.” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card
2. Fear of getting uncomfortable
I used to miss out on events or opportunities because I didn’t want to experience them alone. In all honestly, I had a huge fear or being by myself and being around strangers because that meant I actually had to speak to them. I finally challenged myself to face this fear head on when I attended a women’s conference that changed my life — alone — with 500 women who all started out as strangers.
My BOLD move: Getting up to speak on the mic during the conference to share my biggest takeaways (I used to be that person that feared public speaking more than death itself).
My RESULT: An amazing personal development and business coach, and more confidence to get up and speak, which has led to increased opportunities to speak at conferences, organizations and on live TV
“Do it Afraid” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card
3. Fear of not being “good” enough
I had to learn that my lack of belief in myself was holding me back from achieving so many things in life. Sometimes we don’t feel like we’re good good enough, smart enough, educated enough, the list goes on. “The best thing I ever did was believe in me” – this quote says a lot with very few words. No one can believe in you more than you believe in yourself. I started paying attention to the things I read and watched, filled them with positive affirmations and changed my immediate circles. I connected with more people who were doing great things, and going places I hoped to one day go.
My BOLD move: Creating e-courses around the things I love (blogging, motherhood and goal setting), which I had never done before
My RESULT: A way to generate more revenue streams, and passive income to grow my business.
“Perfection is often the enemy of progress” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Cards
4. Fear of failure
This quote keeps me going every time: “Everything you need is already inside of you”. You are enough. Stop waiting and procrastinating for the right time, the right relationship, the right opportunity, etc. Stop waiting for the conditions to be just right, or the sun to shine just bright enough. Stop waiting to “get ready” and just get out there and do it. No one wants to knowingly risk anything. No one wants to be labled as a failure but so what? The faster you fail, the quicker you can learn from those mistakes. Failures give us lessons, which bring us closer to our successes. You can’t be successful without learning along the way.
My BOLD move: Writing a book to share my story
My RESULT: Many lives have been changed, relationships mended, and people finding their purpose — biggest gift to ever receive
“Fear and faith cannot live in the same place” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card
5. Fear of missing out (FOMO)
I had to learn to stop caring so much about what other people think when it came to how I lived my life and the things I decided to do. I had to learn how to say no to people and things that zapped my energy and left me overwhelmed and stressed. I had to learn to be okay with the understanding that “no is a complete sentence”. I had to figure out where that need for validation was coming from. Once it was identified, I was able to let it go. I realized that I wanted to be accepted and feel needed because I thought it’s what empowered me.
My BOLD move: Learning to say no many times to even those closest to me; setting boundaries
My Result: I got my life back! I released the stress and overwhelm that came with making everyone else’s emergencies, my own
“You must act as if it is impossible to fail” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card
Comment below and let me know how you face your fears to reach the goals you want in life?