5 Common Fears and How to Move Past Them

Fear, fear, fear. We hear this word all the time. And if you have a pulse, chances are, you deal with some kind of fear if not daily then often enough to know what it is. And if you don’t have some kind of fear daily, I’ve learned that it means you’re probably not stretching yourself far enough outside of your comfort zone.

A couple of months ago, my amazing sister, Julian of Bold and Fearless invited me to speak at her very first Bold and Fearless Friday event which takes place every third Friday of the month. Oh no pressure…no pressure at all. I’ve realized I am most comfortable when I’m teaching a webinar or training class. But I still get nervous just speaking to a room full of people without having them actually doing something along with me (that’s the trainer in me).

Lately, I’ve been doing frequent Periscope broadcasts, as well as watching them. And one thing that constantly comes up: FEAR. So I wanted to share some of these fears and how to move past them, in the hopes that it will encourage you to do the same.

Now, if you’ve read my book, Whose Shoes Are You Wearing? you know that the last chapter, Do It Afraid, describes FEAR in two ways:

FEAR acronym concept of bravery choice in life

FEAR acronym concept of bravery choice in life

Be Bold. Be Fearless.  ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card

1. Fear of the unknown/starting over

When I finally left my job in March 2011, it may have appeared on the outside that I just up and left (well, I kinda did). But in actuality, I quit long before the day that I formerly resigned. It took me months (over a year) to finally get over my fear of the unknown. But when I heard, “God will put you in a holy discontent to get you out of situations”, I knew that it was time.

My BOLD move: Leaving my job with no savings, and a third baby on the way; taking a leap of faith (not telling you to do the same, but just keeping it real).

My RESULT: We have not missed my paycheck to this day 4 years later (I can only attribute that to obedience and the grace of God).

“Sometimes making that next bold move requires listening to that still small voice.” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card

2. Fear of getting uncomfortable

I used to miss out on events or opportunities because I didn’t want to experience them alone. In all honestly, I had a huge fear or being by myself and being around strangers because that meant I actually had to speak to them. I finally challenged myself to face this fear head on when I attended a women’s conference that changed my life — alone — with 500 women who all started out as strangers.

My BOLD move: Getting up to speak on the mic during the conference to share my biggest takeaways (I used to be that person that feared public speaking more than death itself).

My RESULT: An amazing personal development and business coach, and more confidence to get up and speak, which has led to increased opportunities to speak at conferences, organizations and on live TV

“Do it Afraid” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card

3. Fear of not being “good” enough

I had to learn that my lack of belief in myself was holding me back from achieving so many things in life. Sometimes we don’t feel like we’re good good enough, smart enough, educated enough, the list goes on. “The best thing I ever did was believe in me” – this quote says a lot with very few words. No one can believe in you more than you believe in yourself. I started paying attention to the things I read and watched, filled them with positive affirmations and changed my immediate circles. I connected with more people who were doing great things, and going places I hoped to one day go.

My BOLD move: Creating e-courses around the things I love (blogging, motherhood and goal setting), which I had never done before

My RESULT: A way to generate more revenue streams, and passive income to grow my business.

“Perfection is often the enemy of progress” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Cards

4. Fear of failure

This quote keeps me going every time: “Everything you need is already inside of you”. You are enough. Stop waiting and procrastinating for the right time, the right relationship, the right opportunity, etc. Stop waiting for the conditions to be just right, or the sun to shine just bright enough. Stop waiting to “get ready” and just get out there and do it. No one wants to knowingly risk anything. No one wants to be labled as a failure but so what? The faster you fail, the quicker you can learn from those mistakes. Failures give us lessons, which bring us closer to our successes. You can’t be successful without learning along the way.

My BOLD move: Writing a book to share my story

My RESULT: Many lives have been changed, relationships mended, and people finding their purpose — biggest gift to ever receive

“Fear and faith cannot live in the same place” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card

5. Fear of missing out (FOMO)

I had to learn to stop caring so much about what other people think when it came to how I lived my life and the things I decided to do. I had to learn how to say no to people and things that zapped my energy and left me overwhelmed and stressed. I had to learn to be okay with the understanding that “no is a complete sentence”. I had to figure out where that need for validation was coming from. Once it was identified, I was able to let it go. I realized that I wanted to be accepted and feel needed because I thought it’s what empowered me.

My BOLD move: Learning to say no many times to even those closest to me; setting boundaries

My Result: I got my life back! I released the stress and overwhelm that came with making everyone else’s emergencies, my own

“You must act as if it is impossible to fail” ~#BoldAndFearless Quote Card

Comment below and let me know how you face your fears to reach the goals you want in life?

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20 Comments

  • Reply
    Stacie
    September 4, 2015 at 9:51 AM

    You are speaking to me today sis! I love these quotes! I remember Joyce Meyer preaching Do it afraid and it helped me overcome a lot of anxieties I had at the time.
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      September 7, 2015 at 1:42 AM

      WOW! Thanks so much Stacie! Yes!!! I read that quote a long time ago but it took me a looong time to really understand it and embrace it 🙂

  • Reply
    Alisha
    September 4, 2015 at 10:06 AM

    This entire post is speaking to me! I think my biggest fear is that I do all of this work and no one ever sees it or heck will they even like it! Right now those are the hurdles that I’m trying to overcome and praying to make peace with that and learn to FLY!
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      September 7, 2015 at 1:43 AM

      Let me tell you Alisha, you are not alone. But I can also say that people are always watching. Keep focusing on doing great work, and trust when I say that people will find it!

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    September 4, 2015 at 4:11 PM

    This whole blog post is tweetable. I am sitting at my desk repeating Amen in my head. I am getting ready to get out of my comfort zone and take a leap of fate but applying to a MA/PHD program at one of the most difficult schools to get into. I believe though that I am enough and I am able to handle the challenge. Thanks for giving me the extra boost today.
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      September 7, 2015 at 1:44 AM

      Aww thank you Kimberly! Now THAT is amazing!!! That is one goal I had a long time ago and it’s now starting to resurface. I’m claiming it for you so congrats in advance!

  • Reply
    AishaAdams
    September 4, 2015 at 5:59 PM

    It is like you wrote this for me… I love it… Great post. We are suppose to be uncomfortable if we are growing…
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      September 7, 2015 at 1:44 AM

      Yesss Aisha! It took me awhile to learn that, but that’s really where the magic started happening for me

  • Reply
    Nicole (Nicole's Lifestyle Lounge)
    September 4, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    This article was meant for me. All those fears are what I struggle with and even though I know deep down I can do it, I let the fear overshadow my confidence.
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      September 7, 2015 at 1:59 AM

      I definitely understand that Nicole! That’s why we have to pump ourselves up with daily doses of positivity because the negativity is around us 24/7.

  • Reply
    Tyra
    September 5, 2015 at 12:43 AM

    This is such an inspirational post. So many times we let fear get in the way and we have to step out on faith.
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      September 7, 2015 at 1:59 AM

      Thank you Tyra! I agree! I’ve been a victim of fear and no longer will I run. Instead, I choose to Rise every time.

  • Reply
    Janelle
    September 5, 2015 at 11:32 PM

    OMG! Sounds sooo much like me!! My BIGGEST and I mean that literally is being introvert. I HAD to step out of my own way in order to step ahead. Like Steven Harvey’s video “Jump”… You just gotta “JUMP!” and you my dear have simply done that!!! LOVE IT! Getting out of my own way of being an introvert has landed me on TV (twice), inside all kinds of magazines, and online and offline interview. Even got invited to speak, ME!! WHAT!!! I speak?!?! Yes, she did LOL. Imagine if I didn’t let go of my fear. I would have been stuck!! Glad I jumped too. This is so on point. Thanks for sharing this, OMG. I feel it in my blood.
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      September 7, 2015 at 2:01 AM

      Wow *tears* You have no idea how much I love this because I can totally relate! Thank you sooo much for your kind words, especially because I respect and admire what you do. I’m so glad you jumped too and are teaching other moms how to do the same #ROCKON 🙂

  • Reply
    Kara
    September 7, 2015 at 11:05 AM

    So true! I’ve been in the same job for the last 15 years and while I love my job it’s not what I’ve seen myself doing for the rest of my life but being so comfortable in my position keeps me from achieving more. I want to get over that fear of leaving and conquer something I actually have a passion for. Great post!
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  • Reply
    Vashti (veepeejay.com)
    September 7, 2015 at 12:37 PM

    *Waves Tamborine* Oh Christine why do you know my innermost thoughts? LOL. Seriously I can relate to everyone of those fears that you mentioned. I can can truly say that this year (especially after reading Whose Shoes) I made the decision to get out of my comfort zone and stop being so afraid to DO IT! As a result,this year has been amazing and I have seen so much personal & business growth. A few weeks ago I finally launched my line of shirts that God had birth in my MONTHS ago….but again FEAR. Man I kicked that to the curb and just did it!

    Sorry this was so long but man this post is GOOD. <3
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  • Reply
    Chasing Joy
    September 8, 2015 at 9:36 AM

    This is a great post. I am a person who has a lot of fears and anxiety. Often I can be afraid and do “it” anyway. But the fears still hold me back more than they should. sharing your post now.

  • Reply
    Carin Kilby Clark
    September 8, 2015 at 9:39 PM

    I love this entire post… such great tips! And this line, “I’ve learned that it means you’re probably not stretching yourself far enough outside of your comfort zone” is soooo true! I’ve also found that to be the case with everything I do.
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  • Reply
    GinaB
    September 9, 2015 at 4:15 AM

    Great post Christine. Loved the point about discovering why you felt you needed to be validated by others and that “no” was a complete sentence.
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  • Reply
    Jaye@Curvatude
    September 9, 2015 at 8:33 AM

    At 46 years of age, I am so grateful to say that fear is not a major factor in my life. I have gotten up and moved my family from Chicago to NYC with just $200 in my pocket and when the money was gone, I once walked 200 blocks in one day to go to interviews, so I know I have nothing to fear, God is my guide, I just need to do my part.
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